It seems that the newest video craze from the land of the rising sun is a noisome little show called Pokemon.
The basic plot of this show is that Pokemon trainers capture and train strange little creatures called "pokemon", allegedly short for pocket monster. These hapless pokemon are then pitted against each other in brutal staged pokemon matches, much as pit bulls and cocks were pitted against each other in the unenlightened dark ages before various feel good groups banded together to outlaw such blood sports. Such bull and bear matches are considered to be cruel and inhumane in this politically correct world, but it is perfectly fine and dandy for pokemon to battle each other for the glory and entertainment of their masters in a sanitzed cartoon combat ring. Hey, noone ever dies or even bleeds, so it must be fine entertainment for young, impressionable children, right?
This is the show that sent thousands of Japanese children into epileptic (or apopaleptic) fits. This show is spawning the usual crop of made in China by slave labor mass marketing spinoff toys that the little pokemon junkies in your house will whine and snivel to posses. The very idea of the show, to train animals to fight, is somehow contrary to the messages that we are trying to instill into our children, unless we are raising a generation of Deliverance type throwbacks raising pitbulls and fighting chickens. Look, if the kids of this great land want to watch anime', can't they be happy with Robotech or the Slayers?
It is for these reasons, and so many more, that I pronounce that Pikachu must die!! And, since we don't want to waste perfectly good electric rodent, hence, we have created the Pikachu Recipe Page.
All recipes must list Pikachu as an ingredient. That's it! The only rule!! Oh, and try to keep it clean, as young children may be guided here by malicious and misguided older siblings who are as tired of Pikachu as the rest of us are. Just to get the ball rolling, here are a few of my favorite Pikachu recipes. Skol, and pika !
Ingredients
One Pikachu
Subdue the "Chu, and hand it to Ozzy. Watch in fascination as Ozzy bites off the Pikachu's head.
Ingredients
One Pikachu
One case of beer, cheap American preferred.
Large bag of corn or potato chips
Manacles
Manacle the Pikachu to a sturdy preparation surface.Reserving at least a six pack of the beer, drink one beer, and begin throwing the rest of the beer, still in the can, of course, at the Pikachu. After the 'Chu is well battered by the beer, as evidenced by it's plantive whimpering, drink the rest of the beer and eat the chips, remarking loudly about how cute the Pikachu is all covered with bloody lumps and cuts. Repeat this process as needed until Pikachu signs a paper stating that is has never been mistreated while in your care.
Wearing proper safety equipment, mix the gasoline, laundry detergent, powdered metal and gunpowder in a well grounded steel bowl. Apply to the pikachu, making certain that the fur is well saturated with the mixture. Allow the 'chu a short head start, then chase it while throwing lit kitchen matches at it. Watch the fun as, at some point, the 'chu attempts to defend itself with a lightening bolt, which will ignite the jellied thermite napalm mixture that you have saturated the pikachu with. Serves many, offends few.See? It's fun and simple to create delicious, nutritious and economical pikachu dishes
On to the next page, where you can add your own and enjoy other peoples creations.